“If I were a man, I wouldn’t want to go out on the field while my wife is working hard at home.”

This morning, my daughter, Olympia, turned 5 months old. We went to get her new passport before a trip to Europe. She took my phone to an interactive educational app that she really liked. The voice on the phone asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I heard her whisper into the phone, “I want to be a big sister.”

Before going to bed, I pray to God to send me a little sister. I am the youngest of five sisters, and they are all my heroes. So this is a time when I need to listen very carefully.

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Believe me, I never wanted to have to choose between tennis and a family. I don’t think it’s fair. If I were a guy, I wouldn’t want to be out there playing and winning while my wife is working her ass off to take care of the family.

I mean I love being a woman and I love every minute of being pregnant with Olympia. Many people don’t realise that when I won the Australian Open in 2017 I was 2 months pregnant. I’ll be 41 next month. I was reluctant to admit that I had to stop playing tennis. It was like a taboo subject. When it came up, I cried.

I’ve never liked the word retirement, it’s not a current word. I just think of it as a transition. A few years ago, I founded Serena Ventures, a venture capital firm, and then started a family.

Alexis, my husband and I hardly talk about retirement, it’s like a taboo subject, I can’t even talk to my parents. The only person I really go to is my therapist. I know a lot of people who are excited and looking forward to retiring, I wish I could be like that. Ash Barty was world number one when she retired in March this year. Caroline Wozniacki, one of my best friends, was relieved to retire in 2020. While I compliment those people, I have to be honest that for me, there is no relief in this. I don’t want it to end, but at the same time I know I’m ready for what’s next.

This sport has given me so much. I love the game and the feeling of winning. Some of the happiest times of my life have been waiting in the lobby and walking out onto Rod Laver Arena with my headphones on and feeling the energy of the crowd. Or night games at Arthur Ashe Stadium at Flushing Meadows.

Venus is stoic and I am determined, always wanting perfection.

My whole life, up to now, has been tennis. Dad says I first picked up a racket when I was three, I think it was earlier. There is a picture of Venus pushing me in a stroller on the tennis court, I couldn’t have been more than 18 months old.

If Venus is the stoic type, then I am the determined type. I remember one time in kindergarten I didn’t write the alphabet well and I cried all night. I was so angry about it. I kept erasing and rewriting that A, my mom kept me up all night writing it while my sisters were asleep. That’s me. Always wanting to be perfect even though I know perfection doesn’t exist. But whatever my perfection is, will be, but whatever my perfection is, I never want to stop until I get it right. To me, that’s the essence of being Serena: expecting the best from yourself and proving people wrong.

There are many matches I have won because something made me angry or someone “made me angry”. In fact, I have made a career out of taking anger and negativity and turning it into something good. Venus once said that when someone says you can’t do something, it’s because they can’t do it. But I did it. And so can you.

If you saw King Richard (the Oscar-winning film based on the life of Richard Williams, Venus and Serena’s father, played by Will Smith), you know that I wasn’t very good at tennis as a kid. I was sad that I didn’t get all the early opportunities that Venus did, but that made me work harder and made me a stronger competitor. I played tournaments all over the world with Venus.

When she lost, I understood why and made sure I wouldn’t lose the same way. That’s how I started climbing the rankings, from Venus’s lessons. It was like I was playing her matches. I’m a good copycat. Growing up, I tried to copy Pete Sampras. I loved Monica Seles and learned from her. I watched, listened, and attacked. When someone told me I was just a little sister, that’s when I really exploded.

Now, between tennis and family, I choose the latter.

I started playing tennis with the goal of winning the US Open. Some people say I’m not the GOAT because I haven’t beaten Margaret Court’s record of 24 Grand Slams. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to. Every time I get to a Grand Slam final, I think about it, but I think too much about it and it doesn’t help. I’ve had 23, which is not bad, incredible even. But now, if I have to choose between building my tennis resume and having a family, I’ll choose the latter.

I never thought about having children before. There were times when I wondered if I should bring a child into this world. I lacked confidence and comfort around newborns. I also thought that if I had a child, someone would definitely take care of it 24/7, really, I would have a lot of support. Then again, I am a good mother, my husband can guarantee that.

In five years, Olympia has spent a total of 24 hours away from me. This year, while recovering from a hamstring injury, I have to pick her up from school four or five days a week. Nothing is too much of a sacrifice for Olympia, I want to teach her how to tie her shoes, how to read, where babies come from, and about God, just like my mother taught me. As she gets older, each month will be different.

In my life, the balance is slowly shifting to Serena Ventures. I started investing 9 years ago and really loved the early stage. I funded MasterClass, which is one of 16 unicorns, companies valued at over $1 billion, that Serena Ventures has funded, along with Tonal, Impossible Foods, Noom, and Esusu.

This year, we raised $111 million from banks and individuals. 78% of our portfolio is companies founded by women and people of color.

Last year Alexis and I tried to have another child. We recently received some information from our doctor that put my mind at ease and made me feel ready. I definitely don’t want to get pregnant again as an athlete.

I don’t particularly like to think about my legacy. I get asked about it a lot, but I don’t know what to say. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my career. Mistakes are learning experiences, and I embrace them. I’m far from perfect.

Over the years, I hope people think of me as a symbol of something bigger than tennis. I admire Billie Jean for being more than just a sports icon. Unfortunately, I didn’t win Wimbledon this year and I’m not sure if I’ll win the US Open?

I know there is a fan fantasy that I could have equalled Margaret’s record that day in London, then surpassed it at the US Open. It’s a good fantasy. It’s a shame to say goodbye to tennis, it has brought me so many victories and so many titles. I will miss the tennis version of Serena. Very much!